Skip to main content

Jason and Shawn review: 2-Headed Shark Attack and Robotropolis

2-Headed Shark Attack

Jason: I was pretty much done with Asylum movies until 2-Headed Shark Attack came along. Not that this is the Oscar winner of Asylum films, but it's a fuck of a lot better than 11-11-11, The Amityville Haunting or Mega Shark Vs. Whatever. For one, we get boobies! And girl on girl action. And some bloody and cool kills. Plus there's a 2-Headed Shark. And it attacks people. But what has plagued The Asylum in the past continues to do so here. At least one character just appears part way through the film. Special effects shots are reused over and over. You get my drift. And Carmen Electra, you have not aged well. You're my age, and I'm prettier than you. A Bad from me!

Shawn: Man, who didn’t crank a load off to Carmen Electra, back in the day? Truly! As the years went by, it kind a looked like they were a little hard on her. Still nice looking, but a second to Hulk Hogan’s daughter, Brooke, in this movie. And I’m pretty sure those were the most peculiar words I’ve ever spoke. I was pleasantly surprised by this flick, as on top of the cheapest effects on earth that even “youtubers” can do better than, they used some conventional effects too! Thanks. I definitely give this a Bad, but if you are a hardcore “BEEEE-er” (not beer), you may get a kick out of this. And boobs. Not Carmen’s or Hogan’s….but boobies, nonetheless.

Robotropolis

Shawn: This movie started out pretty alright. Decent news / investigative report style. But then it took a dive into a dumpster of shit. Truly. This movie had sooooooooo much potential to be awesome, and I wanted to love it. Really. But where I normally don’t let poor acting bother me, this movie had the WORST acting I’ve ever seen. It might as well have been a motherfucking musical. I have all kinds of hate for this movie. Why? Because they made cool robots go on a rampage! But had actors that must have ate the clam from a dead hooker. They tried to care, but at the wrong times, awkward awkward. UGLY. UGLY UGLY.

Jason: Love movies like this or hate them, at least someone is making films about killer robots! Hollywood sure ain't, but someone is. For a low-budget movie, this is pretty well put together. The special effects work. There's blood, dozens of robots, and some 'splosions. And it all looks pretty decent. But, because all the money went into the FX budget, the filmmakers sure had to cheap out on the acting. Ninety per cent of the performers seriously suck! Only star Zoe Naylor was decent, and she looks good. Despite the boobs and the blood, I gotta give this a Bad. I appreciate what those involved tried to achieve here, but the acting seriously hurt the end product!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#CocktailHour: Slushtail

  Summer approaches, inspiring thoughts of sunshine, backyard parties, and having a tip and sip with friends.  With that in mind, I bring you this week sunny beverage. To make a slushtail, mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade (or limeade), a can of pineapple juice, a couple cups of black tea (or English Breakfast), and two cups of bourbon- such as Southern Comfort, in a pitcher.  When it's all nicely mixed, put it in the freezer until it's a nice slushy consistency. Scoop the slush into a cocktail glass, and pour in some Sprite or 7-Up.  Add a little umbrella for some frivolous fun, and a straw. Voila!  Ready to enjoy. This is a very refreshing drink.  The fruit juices, Sprite, and bourbon- when chilled makes for a great punch-like drink.  The bourbon doesn't overwhelm juices.   In fact, they are all nicely balanced in terms of flavors.  The sourness of the citrus fruits contrasts well with the slightly sweeter Southern Comfort.  It was refreshing enou

Unlock your fate with The Puzzle

When my dad wasn't working, building stuff or being my dad, he was making puzzles. It was a guaranteed way for him to unwind. So it was with great interest that I sat down to watch Italian filmmaker Davide Melini's award-winning short The Puzzle. You see, the mother in the five-minute film likes to relax with puzzles just like my dad. Unfortunately, her good-for-nothing son keeps harassing her for money. Losing herself in her favourite passtime, the mother soon discovers that completing this puzzle might unlock a nightmare. The Puzzle has been an official selection at more European film festivals than you can shake a stick at, and was voted Third Best Italian Film at the Rome International Film Festival in 2008. Having watched it, I'm not surprised. It's a tight little film that hits you hard in the final few seconds. You can tell Melini cut his teeth as an assistant director for legendary Italian filmmaker Dario Argento. But enough chit chat on my part. See if yo

The Animated Addict: "The Adventures of Tintin" (2011)

If you're a 40 + white dude, like myself, you may remember a comic series called " The Adventures of Tintin ".  I know I remember them.  This series, dating back to 1929, got turned into a animated feature film by Steven Spielberg in 2011. After buying a model of ship called The Unicorn, teenaged journalist Tintin finds himself on adventure that will take him from the high seas, to the low deserts, and from the distant past to the present.  With his trusty dog, Snowy, by his side, Tintin uncovers a story connecting two men across the centuries.. . The story is really quite good.  It's well crafted, and high paced- with just enough slow moments to build and develop the world and the characters.  This is the sort of adventure story you'd find in the old serials of the 1930's and '40's.  In fact, it felt like it was the sort of tale that you'd find Indiana Jones undertaking.  I found myself swept up, and swept along as our hero swung from one e